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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Whilst digging through the downstairs freezer for smoothie ingredients the other day, I came upon a bag of wild bilberries (the juicier European cousin of blueberries) that I’d picked in the forest surrounding our house during our first year living here. Cue excited glee, since I’d thought they were all used up ages ago and they’re not the cheapest things to buy frozen at the supermarket. Last year was exceptionally bad for wild berries and mushrooms, since we didn’t get much summer rainfall in our area — I went out with my berry bucket and came back with 2 (count them) …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

No, this is totally not one of those posts where I weigh the pros and cons of childhood vaccinations. Because really, if you don’t know by now, I’m very squarely in the “yay, science and medicine!” camp. No question about it. Rather, this is the post where I share what I’ve learned about the differences in vaccination schedules between what my kids will be getting in Finland versus what they would have gotten if they were born in the US. Also, how that differs from what I got as a kid born in Taiwan. And then I show you guys …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Third in the series of old yarnish projects I had up gallery-style on the old VKFashion site. Links to project pages and patterns as applicable, below the pictures. Crocheted “glittens” (fingerless gloves that convert into mittens). Matched a kitty cat hat, for a friend. I do find this ideal ridiculously useful and am going to make a pair for myself by next winter. Elbow-length fingerless gloves, so everything stays warm even when you need your fingers free for detailed work. Ribbon trim at top can be tightened as needed. Rainbow socks, for a friend who requested socks before I had learned …

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New PR Stand-Alone: One-Week Rule
Title: One-Week Rule
Pairing: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb; appearances by ensemble cast
Rating: R / NC-17 [NSFW]
Word Count: 5,200
Notes: This isn't a fusion, not precisely, but it borrows a concept from a novel I loved growing up. In The Westing Game, you have a situation in which the residents of a condominium tower start using the lift/elevator as a community bulletin board. Over time, genuine notices and invitations and lost-item flyers degenerate into people ragging on each other and having conversations. As you can imagine, it didn't take much for me to wonder what this happening with the Shatterdome lift/elevator might look like. This is intended as humor, but there's also some serious content (given that it's set in the weeks leading up to Raleigh's arrival, the battles, and immediate aftermath). You do not need to have read The Westing Game to understand what's going on in this story. All my thanks to mystradedoodles and bowlingforgerbils for beta-reading; this was going to be my Mini-Bang entry, but I decided the AU I'm working on will be better suited to the purpose.
Summary: Somebody's got a stick up his theoretical vortex. Starting this off with a bang?

(Read it @ AO3)

One-Week RuleCollapse )
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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

The 2010 November Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Simona of briciole. She chose to challenge Daring Bakers’ to make pasta frolla for a crostata. She used her own experience as a source, as well as information from Pellegrino Artusi’s Science in the Kitchen and the Art of Eating Well. Back in late October, I decided to join the Daring Bakers community because I’d seen several other people doing it and having lots of fun trying out new recipes. They tend to choose things that are a bit more complicated than I would normally bake without some sort of impetus, …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

As many of you know, I am competing in Foodbuzz’s annual Project Food Blog contest. For the first entry, we were prompted to write a post that “defines you as a food blogger”. After spending this past week thinking about it and going over the comments I received over the past year, I think I’ve got a condensed list that says it pretty well. 1) I always post step-by-step photos of the recipes I make, since it can greatly help to see how something looks at certain stages of preparation. 2) I tell the unvarnished truth about the process I went …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Good ol’ comfort food of the sort that my mom used to make when we were sick. With a few additions, because I have a tendency to overpopulate my soups when the refrigerator needs cleaning out. Based on… well, just memory, really. Sometimes, you just want to leave the measuring cups behind. A proper soup would probably start with a dashi (light broth-like soup base) of bonito or sardine. However, I didn’t feel like going through the process of soaking dried fish and sieving the liquid. This was about fast and easy, after all. I usually have a stack of …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

The boy and I went out to sushi fairly frequently back in OC because we had a stellar local restaurant with an excellent selection of everything we could possible ask for. When I was growing up, though, going out wasn’t as common and my mother would often make her own interpretations of sushi, both with nori and with sweet fried tofu pouches called inari. Inari is great because it’s super fast to prep and doesn’t require as much effort as properly rolled nori does. Plus, if made with durable toppings like shredded dried fish, you can just stuff a few …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Right-o. Following the confusion that yesterday’s mention of condensed cream soup stirred up, perhaps I should have posted this recipe first as sort of a context for its use! As I mentioned earlier, we had Mexican theme night. Well, pseudo-Mexican, since we had to make do with what was available in a place which is just about as non-Mexican as you can get. I ended up going with a salad of baby greens tossed with avocado and cucumber, a pitcher of lemon-limeade, flan for dessert, and… chicken enchiladas. Keep in mind that I have never made Mexican food in my …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Back in the late 90′s, I was fortunate enough to visit New Orleans a couple of times (I don’t really count the times my family visited back when we lived in Houston because I was far too young to have a vote in what we did there) for lavish masquerade balls. If there are two things they know how to do down there, it’s dress well and eat well. My friends and I made sure to explore both avenues as much as possible during our brief visits. It’s been more than a decade since I’ve been there, but the memories …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Back in early November, I decided to take a stab at weekly menu planning in an effort to organize my grocery shopping lists, encourage the trying out of all those recipes I had stashed in my notebook and more efficiently make use of the ingredients I already had on hand. It worked surprisingly well for a few weeks, up until the holiday season hit and I was eaten alive by gingerbread. Just started up the process again a couple of weeks ago and although it’s been hard to get back into the groove (amazing how lazy you get after a …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

I’ve written about my ever-evolving pancake tinkering in the past, and I’m pretty sure this will not be the last post. However, it has been a little less than four years since I last mentioned these, so I suppose they are fair game. Especially since I am now converting everything over to printable recipe format with my shiny new plugin. As I mentioned before, these are the result of years of tinkering to come to a happy compromise between the eggy thin Finnish pancakes the hubby likes and the fluffier American ones that I’m used to. They’re a little of …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

This was my second sushi experience during our weekend in the Helsinki greater metropolitan area last July. This was also my second sushi experience with this particular Finnish restaurant chain, Hanko Sushi. I use the term “restaurant” loosely because I would classify this more as fast-food sushi, really. Except for the not so fast part. But wait, let’s start at the beginning. So the day before, I’d taken the bus out to Espoo to visit a friend and have an awesome lunch at LN-Sushi Art. Wanting to sleep in late and knowing that we were leaving that afternoon, I stayed …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

One of the big things on my list for pre-baby prep has been to make and freeze as many meals as possible so that we have a wide variety of easily-reheated homemade food to last through the first months when we’ll (well, let’s be honest — I’LL) be too tired to cook. To this end, I try to double everything I make now and freeze the leftovers as fast as possible so we don’t end up eating them all ahead of time. It encourages me to keep cooking rather than rummage around for the easy stuff. With the whole gestational …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Our Siamese calico Coco doesn’t get as much blog exposure as Misu does. This is mostly because she has more self-respect and is less likely to be found in compromising positions. Still, she is a pretty little thing and deserves attention. Here she is lounging on the cat tree when it was still brand new (August 2012 or thereabouts).

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Sure, there’s the obvious things. Wash and store all the baby clothes, blankets, small toys, etc? Check. Make and freeze enough food to feed a small army? Check. Buy and practice using the pram/travel system/car seat? Check. Clean the house. Check. These are the smaller things that flit through my head under the “that’d be a really good idea; I should remember that” category. Not completely necessary, but things that would make life that much easier. 10. Manicure and pedicure. Given, I haven’t really been in contact (I occasionally see a peek when I’m lying down, but mostly they’re obscured by …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

I made this little thing early last year, after getting tired of constantly rummaging through little boxes filled with loose earrings trying to find a pair to wear on any particular day. I’d previously slapped something together back at the apartment using lace and a plastic hanger, but figured I’d go for a more presentable look now that we are homeowners and all. An old picture frame was pressed into service. I’d always thought it was a bit on the clunky side when used for photos, but the aged metal and wood make a nice contrast when paired with colorful …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Second in the series of old projects I had up gallery-style on the old VKFashion site. Links to project pages and patterns as applicable, below the pictures. Light blue Fraggle hat for a friend. Also made a scarf to go with it, as you see. Rose-colored Kitty Cat Hat for a friend. Had matching glittens. Comfy purple Homespun Hat for a bestie. Had a matching scarf. A Maroon Cloche that traveled to Canada. And a purple Ribbon Cloche for another friend. Had a matching scarf.

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

I popped by my favorite grocery store yesterday to refill my asthma meds and grab a few small items to keep us until our big supermarket binge later this week. They had moved things around since I was last there, so I spent about five minutes stalking up and down the frozen foods aisle, looking more and more perturbed with each round. There was not a single tub of Ben & Jerry’s in sight, you see. This was highly unlike them, since this is the one store that can always be counted on to have a lot of non-Finnish specialty …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Well, here I am at 35 weeks, pretty much packed and ready to go. My carry-on sized bag is sitting in the mudroom, ready for a quick exit when the time comes. Figured I’d share my list and ask for some suggestions from y’all if there’s anything else I might not have thought of, since there is still (hopefully) plenty of time to tweak. So yes, this is what I have prepared! Please note that Finnish hospitals typically have you stay 3-4 days after the birth, especially for first-time parents and definitely if it’s a c-section. (Hopefully I will avoid …

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So this was a winner tonight. Usually I try to be too fancy with chickpea curry and bork it, but this very simple version is great.

vegetable oil
1 onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced finely
2 heaped tsp ginger paste (or 1 inch fresh ginger, finely diced)
1/2 tsp chilli paste or to taste
3 heaped tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp ground fenugreek (probably optional)
2 pieces of preserved lemon, pulp removed and diced finely (optional)
2 x 400g tins chopped tomatoes
2 cups pre-cooked chickpeas (or use canned ones, drained - never mind if quantity not exact)
1/2 tsp sugar or to taste (optional)
salt to taste

Fry onions in a little oil over medium heat till translucent.

Add garlic, ginger, chilli and spices, and stir constantly for a minute till fragrant.

Add tomatoes and lemons, stir well and simmer uncovered over low heat 15 minutes.

Add chickpeas, stir and simmer another 10 minutes, or until texture seems nice. Add salt and sugar (only if it seems too acidic) to taste.

Serve with rice and sides (raita (= yoghurt + chopped mint), chutney, naan bread is good).

[ETA forgot the optional sugar.]

x-posted at Dth with comment count unavailable comments. Comment wherever you like (scraps of paper posted in the tree outside your house may not be received right away).
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Fanfiction Header Builder banner

Yo yo, if you haven't heard elsewhere, the Fanfiction Header Builder tool has returned to http://tools.oscillating.net/headerbuilder/

(Background: I took over the oscillating.net domain from Hope in January, intending to host only myself, since none of the other hostees were interested. But we've heard from people saying they were still keen on the header builder, so here it is again!)

x-posted at Dth with comment count unavailable comments. Comment wherever you like (scraps of paper posted in the tree outside your house may not be received right away).
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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

The past week has been sunny and gorgeous, so the cats have been glued to the windows every morning watching and listening to the wildlife outside. I don’t usually manage to get pictures of them together, so ran for my camera when I saw them doing this one morning. Please note the matching cat-shaped dents on the back of this particular armchair. That is because they also like to lounge there in the evenings, to the point where they have shaped the stuffing to conform to their indolent furry butts. Yeah, we’ve given up on rescuing that particular piece of …

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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

Last summer, I accompanied the hubby on a series of weekend trips to various cities around the country for his RC car competitions. In the process, I took what was basically the abbreviated Sushi Tour of Finland. Such as it is. Finland doesn’t have a huge number of sushi joints, so there are usually only a couple per city at best, unless it’s a particularly large one like Helsinki. Then they might have, like, ten or so. Sadly, I do not exaggerate. And most of them probably opened in the recent past, because there were considerably fewer when I first …

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The 12 Dancing Debutantes (4729 words) by dreamiflame, Rosencrantz
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Le Maître Chat ou Le Chat Botté | Master Cat; or Puss in Boots - Charles Perrault, 12 Dancing Princesses (Fairy Tale)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: le Chat botté | Puss in Boots, Jack (Jack and the Beanstalk)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Noir, Detective Noir, Talking Animals, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fae & Fairies, Alternate Universe - Twelve Dancing Princesses, doing good deeds against your will, Cats, Alternate Universe - Prohibition Era, Alternate Universe - Detectives
Series: Part 3 of Two-Booted Tales
Summary:

On the night of a debutante ball, all twelve girls go missing and it's up to Puss to yet again put things right.



Name's Puss. Puss in Boots. I'm a cat who's seen action. Scratched a few noses. Been scratched a few times. Never had my fur ruffled. Not until this one case.




As of March 2014, Puss Noir, the first story, has updated and improved text. Please check it out!
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Originally published at Velvet Kerfuffle. Please leave any comments there.

This is the after picture of my kitchen ceiling lamp, probably the most used light in the house. It really is a shame I didn’t take a picture of this thing before I removed it for cleaning. It had been hanging there for almost two years, accumulating a thick layer of dust and dead fly carcasses. It was pretty gross. Nobody really wanted to wipe it down or even touch it. Happily, it was one of the first things on my list to clean when I started maternity leave. I had found a nearly hands-free way to wash that sucker, …

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Recently, I started thinking about the moments of being openly gay that I never see in fic. This was supposed to be a list of those.

It isn't.

~

Ever since we moved to this house, I've gone to the same pharmacy several times a month to pick up prescriptions. In the beginning, the earthling was with me in the sling, and later he'd accompany me walking on his own feet. There was a cashier, Maria, who always talked to him and me, who was friendly and remembered us and grabbed our prescriptions before we even got to the front of the line.

One day about a year ago I went to the pharmacy after the earthling was in bed. "Oh, where's your son?" Maria asked.

"He's at home with my wife. It's after his bedtime."

"…Oh," she said.

Since then, when I go, she still recognizes me, earthling or no, but she's all business. No chat, no talking about how big the earthling has gotten, no asking me about my day. There are a thousand possible reasons for this. At least. Most of them have nothing to do with me. Maybe she got yelled at for chatting with customers too much. Maybe she's been having a bad year. It could be anything. I know that.

But I will always wonder if it's because I'm queer. I can't not wonder. My queerness inflects every interaction I have like this, whether I acknowledge it ("my wife") or avoid it ("my partner"). And because queerness is not visible, cannot be known until I make it known, I often have situations like this, where there was a before and there is now an after and things are different. This is one of the minor costs of being openly queer: the voice in the back of your head that is always going, is this because I'm gay?

~

Coming out is supposed to happen in One Big Moment. Usually your One Big Moment involves coming out to your parents; sometimes, especially in fiction, it's coming out at a press conference or in front of an audience or something. But wherever it happens, the concept is the same: in that moment, your whole life changes. Before, you were closeted and ashamed, and after, you become open and honest. You have chewed your way out of the cocoon of secrecy to emerge as a beautiful gay butterfly!

My family doesn't do big moments well. I was in college, I was 19, I was in the apartment I shared with Best Beloved. And my mother called. After some chat, she got around to the purpose of her call.

"Last year," she said, "you told me you'd never get married. And I'm worrying about that. You're young and I don't want you to be alone forever."

"I won't be alone," I said. "I just won't be married because it's not legal for me to be. But I already consider myself married."

I should, at this (big and momentous!) point, mention a few things: this call was taking place in the morning, and my sister, Laura, was living with our mother at this time.

"Oh," my mother said. And right then, Laura, who is not and never has been entirely human in the mornings, came into the room.

"Is there milk?" she said crankily.

"In the refrigerator," my mother said to her. To me, she said, "Who are you married to?"

"[Best Beloved]," I said, honestly bewildered. (I thought they knew! Like -- why did they think we lived together? I assumed we'd been on the same page for years.)

"Oh," my mother said, reaching for a suitable reaction.

"No, there isn't," Laura said, attaining new heights of crankiness. "Are we out?"

"Your sister's a lesbian," my mother snapped at Laura. I think she meant: shut up about milk for a second. I'm trying to have a significant conversation and you're making it difficult.

Laura has never given a shit about anyone's sexual preference first thing in the morning. "That's nice," she said, summoning up every single fuck she could give about something before breakfast. "Are we out of milk or what?"

And at that point I think we all gave up on pretending this was a significant moment and just kind of moved on with our lives. I accepted that "That's nice. Are we out of milk or what?" would be my family's main reaction to my sexuality. Later that day, just to be sure we were all in the loop -- since my parents seemed strangely slow and clueless about these things -- I told my father in email. The paragraph dedicated to that revelation took a backseat to four paragraphs of discussion about my stupid physics professor. Those were my priorities.

He probably read it and wondered if he was out of milk.

Just to top things off, that night I realized to my eternal embarrassment that this all took place on National Coming Out Day, a "holiday" I don't even support. (Come out. Don't come out. Whatever you want, on your own terms. I'm not going to pressure you and no one else should, either. It's a bullshit concept.)

So my One Big Moment was -- not. It was not big. It was not dramatic. It was, to be honest, pretty comical. The most emotion experienced by anyone was Laura's sincere and honest anger about my mother using the last of the milk without even considering whether other people had had breakfast yet. It didn't even manage to be a single moment, since I spread it over most of a day.

This was probably much better preparation for the rest of my life than I thought at the time.

~

"Are you sisters?"

"No. No, we're… not sisters."

"Oh. Haha! You look just like each other."

~

In college, I fainted outside the student union building during finals week and ended up at student health. The nurse practitioner had only one question for me, phrased two dozen different ways: "Could you be pregnant?"

"No," I said. "I can't be pregnant."

She was already starting her next question before I finished my answer. "But did you have sex recently?"

I hesitated. Back then, coming out still felt like a big thing every time I did it. And, yes, I'd had sex with Best Beloved many times that month, but I knew she meant sex that involved a penis in my vagina. Did I really need to get into my current sexual history in detail with this woman? "No," I finally said, but my hesitation had convinced her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Not at all?"

"No."

"Not even a teeny weeny bit?" she wheedled.

I just stared at her, trying to figure out how you have a teeny weeny bit of sex.

She moved on. "Did you black out, or take any drugs, or wake up and not know where you were at all recently?"

She'd accurately described most of my high school career, but those days were long gone. And I didn't think accidentally falling asleep after midnight in the bone lab counted. Dead people can't get you pregnant. "No."

We went around and around. After fifteen minutes, she was still finding new ways to ask if I might be pregnant, and I was watching time tick by and just yearning for a diagnosis already. Finally, she said, "What are you using for birth control?"

I gave up. My desire not to come out to her had lost out to my desire to be done with this question forever. "Lesbianism," I said. "I'm using lesbianism for birth control."

She nodded but did not deviate from her script. "So you're not on the pill? Did you have sex this month?"

"I only have sex with my girlfriend," I said, trying to make this whole lesbianism thing clearer. "She can't get me pregnant."

She sent me to get some blood tests. One of them was for hCG: a pregnancy test. I got it then and I get it now. The number of college girls who claim they can't possibly be pregnant and are wrong is greater than the number of college girls who have stress-induced fainting.

But I came out! It was an effort! And… she didn't even listen to me. Back then, it didn't matter to her the way it mattered to me.

~

After a while, it stops mattering. You do it so many times that it just gets old and dull and meaningless. But you don't get to stop there. Coming out is endless. I've done it thousands of times by now, each moment of coming out blurring together in my head until it's just a lifetime of saying over and over: "I'm a lesbian. I have a wife. I'm queer. I'm not straight." I don't play the pronoun game anymore, I don't reach for the careful, neutral phrasing, and so I'm coming out all the time, without even thinking about it. And it's so boring that I sometimes forget that it's new information, and sometimes a brand-new experience, for the person I'm coming out to.

"Is your husband Jewish?" the earthling's friend's mother asked me.

"My wife, actually. No, she's not."

And I was ready to move on, but she was freezing up. I've done this so many times I can monitor people's thoughts as they have them -- I can read them like thought bubbles.

She's a lesbian.

Wait. What do I say?

Oh no, I've waited too long and she thinks I'm a horrible bigot, even though I'm Canadian.

"Oh," she said, clearly wishing she was saying something else. But what? But what?

The earthling's friend, David, looked up at me. "Girls can't have a wife," he said confidently.

David's mother made a tiny horrified noise. I didn't even need to look at her to know that she was thinking now she thinks my children are horrible and bigoted too.

But children are easy. Children are never any problem. "Yes, they can," I said to David. "Men can marry men and women can marry women, and I'm married to [earthling]'s mommy." (Straight parents, a tip for you: The key is to sound blandly confident. Use the same tone you'd use to say, "Actually, the capital of California is Sacramento.")

David took the conversation back to what matters to small children: themselves. "My mommy is married to my daddy," he informed me, and he and the earthling went back to playing with leaves and sticks.

A minute later, David's mother, having processed her horror and figured out what to say, chimed in with, "Of course women and women can be married!" She pretty clearly had a whole speech ready, but too late. Small children learn hundreds of new things every week, and they just don't have a lot of time to spend on any single irrelevant, unimportant new fact, like that women can be married to women. David had already filed this away, and he wasn't listening anymore.

David's mother left the conversation embarrassed and worried. She was the only person involved who had any feelings about it at all. These days, it doesn't matter to me the way it matters to other people.

~

My family is pretty basic: two adults and a child. But even now, when we can legally be married, legally file taxes together, legally be co-parents -- even now, forms almost never have room for us. There's the basic ones that assume that each child has a mother and a father, of course, but recently we filled out some for the school distract that had a ton of options: mother/grandmother/legal guardian/caregiver/foster parent/other. And father/grandfather/legal guardian/caregiver/foster parent/other. The only possibility that seemed not to have occurred to the school was two parents of the same sex.

I always cross out "father" and write "mother" over it. I cross out "husband" and write "wife." Often, this leads to unhappiness on the part of a receptionist or records keeper somewhere. "But the computer doesn't have a place for that! Can I just put sister?"

"She's not my sister, and she is responsible for my medical bills if I die."

"I'll just put sister."

But then sometimes I pick up a form that says Parent 1 and Parent 2, or Spouse 1 and Spouse 2, or something along those lines.

As soon as I see that, I look behind the desk, analyzing. Who works in this office who is queer? I want to ask. Because we only ever fit on forms designed by people like us.

~

"Are you sisters?"

"No, we're not related."

"Oh, just really good friends then, huh? You look so much alike! You must get that a lot."

"Yeah, we get it a lot."

~

In college, I had a therapist. One day, she asked, "Are you still together with [Best Beloved]?"

"Yeah," I said, confused. I mean. I'd been with BB for years. Surely it would have come up in therapy if we'd broken up? I figured I'd have some feelings about it and all.

"Huh," she said. "I'm surprised. I guess I just see lesbian relationships as more ephemeral than straight ones." She continued on thoughtfully, "I don't know why that is. You'd think I'd know better; my sister's been with her partner for a decade, after all. Well. I'll have to do some work on that, won't I?"

For the record, she was a very good therapist.

This week, I took the earthling to his pediatrician, Dr. G. Dr. G has known him since he was born, and she's known us since I was six months pregnant. BB and I met her together at the pre-birth interview thing, and BB was there in the hospital when the earthling was born, and BB comes to appointments when she can.

As Dr. G entered some data about the earthling into her computer, she asked, "Are you still with [BB]?"

I blinked at her. "We just celebrated our twenty-first anniversary," I said, after a moment's pause.

"Oh! Wow! Congratulations," she said, and we moved on.

I really doubt she's ever asked my sister, whose kids also see this doctor, if she's still married to her husband. I've been married longer; BB was at my sister's wedding. But, hey, my marriage is ephemeral, right? It could end at any time. Unremarked upon, even.

For the record, Dr. G is a very good pediatrician.

~

"Are you twins?"

"…What?"

"You look like twins!"

"No, we're not related."

"Wow! You look just like each other. How crazy is that, huh?"

~

It's just a reflex by now.

We were checking in for a spa day that my mother schedule for us: me, my sister (except technically not my sister, who is always late), and Best Beloved. "Oh, are you all Ruth's daughters?" the receptionist asked.

"No. Laura and I are. [BB] is my wife," I said.

And I could, of course, see her thoughts as they happened:

Oh, they're lesbians!

I am entirely and sincerely pro-gay, and so is my workplace. I voted against Prop 8! Yay, gay people!

…But what do I say now?

"Oh," she said, straightening up a little.

Wait, that sounds dismissive. Say something else! Say a better thing! Say the right thing!

"That's great!" she said.

I glanced up at her. "Yes, it is." And then I went back to texting my sister to find out where she was.

~

"Are you twins?"

"No. She's my wife."

"…Oh. Um."

~

Straight people, I will tell you a secret: there is no right response. Just listen and get on with your lives. I've learned to.

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
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CHEESE AND CRACKERS!

Guys, I have bronchitis and a sinus infection, and I was pretty sure it was the fever talking at first, but no, cheese and crackers beat Kit-Kats in the most stunning upset ever of the Snackfood Deathmatch.

I can't even. I'm having a moment. This on top of HIMYM!

Wow. Anyway, congrats to cheese and crackers! This is one for the record books.

Thank you all for playing along! I'll see you this summer for an ice cream deathmatch, if I ever recover from this illness.

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"Queen of Cups" is already live in the new issue of inkscrawl!

Other amazing poets in this issue: Sandi Leibowitz, Erik Amundsen, Jonel Abellanosa, Brittany Warman, Mari Ness, Sonya Taaffe, L. Chapman, Vajra Chandrasekera, Marcia Arrieta, Lynette Mejía, Kendall Evans, Ross Balcom, Alexandra Seidel, and Noel Sloboda.

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Wow, cheese and crackers! Congratulations! That was kind of a stunning upset over Thin Mints. Let's see if you can pull it off again today!

So here it is, folks, the last match. Sweet vs. savory. Can you make the call?

Poll #1962809
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 71

You choose:

View Answers
Kit-Kats
29 (40.8%)
cheese and crackers
42 (59.2%)


Ready? VOTE.
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So sorry, Cheez-its! You had a good run, but there's always next year. And congratulations to Kit-Kats, you're the first finalist. Let's see who the next one will be.

I suspect I know, but who knows, there could be an upset!

Poll #1962700
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 60

You choose:

View Answers
cheese and crackers
35 (58.3%)
Thin Mints
25 (41.7%)


Ready? VOTE.
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It's a beautifully sunny day but I'm full of cold, so I've just had a really long nap before heading up to Islington for some weird play (the only thing I can remember from the description of it is that it features full-frontal nudity so I kind of hope we don't end up on the front row) that a friend is dragging me to see.

But before that... Winter Soldier - ALL THE SPOILERSCollapse )

Tags:

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I have to say, I was surprised by Thin Mints win! I thought for sure mini-donuts would take that one. But congrats Thin Mints! We'll see if you can take it further tomorrow.

Today we decide between sweet and salty! Also this is a perfect revenge vote scenario: pretzel lovers, vote for Kit-Kats! Toblerone lovers, vote for Cheez-its! Um, if you're a lover of both, I don't know what to tell you.

Poll #1962584
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 62

You choose:

View Answers
Kit-Kats
35 (56.5%)
Cheez-its
27 (43.5%)


Ready? VOTE.
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The Teen Wolf finaleCollapse )

One of my borderline-fannish friends has just got into Teen Wolf and keeps texting me about what a poor woobie Derek is, and just maybe he should get together with Stiles. I am obviously responding by sending her the filthiest fic I have bookmarked...

The Musketeers Episode NineCollapse )

I found out during a work pizza and wine night on Friday that one of my colleagues is both watching the series and reading the book at the moment, and got so incoherently excited that I dropped pizza down my bra. This also meant that we spent a good ten minutes in the photocopier room yesterday morning doing impersonations of Athos and his manpain and cracking up, which was a really good way to start a Monday.

I finished re-reading the book on Sunday - I'd forgotten just how exciting the ending was! Spoilers for a 170 year-old book?Collapse )
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